If you are planning on flirting with your server you had better leave at least a 20% tip. ESPECIALLY if you are old enough to be her father or grandfather. I’m serious.  Don’t say weird things like, “Hey kiddo, wanna get married?!” or “You look just like my ex-wife, but a lot thinner! She’s dead now.”  

 Well you can go shove all those Arnold Palmers up your ass, sir. I am in no mood to entertain your post mid-life crisis with fake smiles and nervous laughter.