February 2012
13 posts
“What’s the difference between pickles and cucumbers?”
– a customer.
How to be a Better Customer
It is OK to answer the question, “How are you today?” If you are NOT OK that day, maybe you should order food or stay home and starve.
Preserved Lemons: An apocalypse treat for the well...
“Why should I make preserved lemons?”
As you all know, it’s 2012 and the world will soon come to a fiery end. And truth be told, when that day comes the food supply is going to start dwindling pretty fast. Eventually, the Japanese robots will become self aware, the zombie population will start to explode and everyone will be killing each other over last weeks rotten apple...
How to be a Better Customer
Please don’t act like I just broke into your bedroom when I approach your table. It’s actually my house and you are technically renting a room for an hour.
Lonely Girl Cat.
One day Catherine woke up and had nothing to do. Her boyfriend was out of town, and her best friend was at her stupid job.
Catherine was very bored.
She went on a walk. She watched an idiot man clean her couch. She decided to buy a very expensive camera. She made 2 trips to the grocery store. She made herself a sad, single serving of butternut squash soup and then baked a whole goddamn...
How to be a Better Customer
Chill out with the f**king ranch. It doesn’t grow on trees and yes I’m going to charge you for it.
Breaking News:
Just do it.
Don’t ask any questions.
Trust us.
Pickle your soul tonight.
2 Chicks 1 Herb Garden.
How to be a Better Customer: A Math Problem
Sally, Tanner and Regina go out to lunch. The bill arrives and the total is $43.22. They decide to split the bill three ways. They each owe $14.40 without tip. Sally and Tanner each put $17.00 in the checkbook, and proudly announce “This is what I owe, plus tip!.” Regina doesn’t have cash and puts her debit card in the checkbook along with the $34.00 from her table mates. They...
How to be a Better Customer
When you make the decision to leave your home and eat in public, there are certain things you should expect. The main thing you should be prepared for is interacting with other human beings. Your server is, in fact, a human being.