February 2012
13 posts
“What’s the difference between pickles and cucumbers?”
– a customer.
How to be a Better Customer
It is OK to answer the question, “How are you today?” If you are NOT OK that day, maybe you should order food or stay home and starve.
Preserved Lemons: An apocalypse treat for the well...
“Why should I make preserved lemons?”
As you all know, it’s 2012 and the world will soon come to a fiery end. And truth be told, when that day comes the food supply is going to start dwindling pretty fast. Eventually, the Japanese robots will become self aware, the zombie population will start to explode and everyone will be killing each other over last weeks rotten apple...
How to be a Better Customer
Please don’t act like I just broke into your bedroom when I approach your table. It’s actually my house and you are technically renting a room for an hour.
Lonely Girl Cat.
One day Catherine woke up and had nothing to do. Her boyfriend was out of town, and her best friend was at her stupid job.
Catherine was very bored.
She went on a walk. She watched an idiot man clean her couch. She decided to buy a very expensive camera. She made 2 trips to the grocery store. She made herself a sad, single serving of butternut squash soup and then baked a whole goddamn...
How to be a Better Customer
Chill out with the f**king ranch. It doesn’t grow on trees and yes I’m going to charge you for it.
Breaking News:
Just do it.
Don’t ask any questions.
Trust us.
Pickle your soul tonight.
2 Chicks 1 Herb Garden.
How to be a Better Customer: A Math Problem
Sally, Tanner and Regina go out to lunch. The bill arrives and the total is $43.22. They decide to split the bill three ways. They each owe $14.40 without tip. Sally and Tanner each put $17.00 in the checkbook, and proudly announce “This is what I owe, plus tip!.” Regina doesn’t have cash and puts her debit card in the checkbook along with the $34.00 from her table mates. They...
How to be a Better Customer
When you make the decision to leave your home and eat in public, there are certain things you should expect. The main thing you should be prepared for is interacting with other human beings. Your server is, in fact, a human being.
January 2012
22 posts
Coming Soon...
Worms in Jars!!!!
Just kidding.
But Seriously…
Taco Extravaganza and Pickling 101!
3 tags
Squares 'O Lemon.
Although most lemon deserts conjure up images of springtime, it sure feels like spring here in LA so why the hell not?! We still had a plethora of lemons available from our lemon tree grab bag and we just can’t drink any more damn lemon water. So onto the squares! Or bars! Whatever!
Now, we actually had a go to lemon bar recipe that always gets rave reviews from boyfriends and coworkers...
How to Be a Better Customer
If you are planning on flirting with your server you had better leave at least a 20% tip. ESPECIALLY if you are old enough to be her father or grandfather. I’m serious. Don’t say weird things like, “Hey kiddo, wanna get married?!” or “You look just like my ex-wife, but a lot thinner! She’s dead now.”
Well you can go shove all those Arnold Palmers up...
How to Be a Better Customer
Don’t leave me your stupid business card. Especially if we didn’t even talk about your job. Why did you give this to me? Do you want me to work for you? Do you want me to come to your stupid art show? Are you asking me out on a date? And if there is more than one person at the table how the fuck am I supposed to know which one of you idiots was kind enough to bombard me with extra bits...
How To Be a Better Customer. An ongoing series.
If you decide to go to a restaurant, order what is on the menu in front of you. If you have a request and your server says “No, sir, I’m sorry but we can’t do that for you,” then it means the restaurant is unable to accommodate you at that time. It doesn’t mean that we hate you, or that we are trying to ruin your meal, it simply means that we just don’t do that....
“Are there sun dried tomatoes in your sun dried tomato vinaigrette?”
– an idiot customer.
3 tags
Yes, from start to finish, this will take you roughly 8 hours (and we are including “getting the kitchen back to the way we found it” time.) But don’t let that scare you, this recipe is totally worth it. We found this in October issue of Bon Appetit, and the tagline reads, “If you’re only going to make one pot pie from scratch in your life, this is the recipe to...
NSFNYD (Not Safe For New Year's Diets)
Yeah, so this happened.
It was partly in honor of our Home Girl, Ms. Paula Deen. In light of her recent announcement- of the fat fact that we will forever have to change our eating habits because Paula Deen has diabetes and if we keep cooking her recipes, we’ll probably get it too.
It was partly because we didn’t feel like going to the store, coupled with the fact that we had a...
5 tags
C&M Glazed Lemon Cookies
That’s right. You heard us. Now pull your head out of your ass and make these cookies.
For the Cookies:
2 C all purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon kosher salt
1 1/2 Tablespoon finely grated lemon zest
3 Tablespoons fresh lemon juice
1/2 C (1 stick) unsalted butter @ room temperature
1 C sugar
1 egg
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
Directions:
1....
4 tags
dianajacqueline asked: This blog is literally heaven for me ;)
7 tags
Banana and Peanut Butter Ice Cream Sammiches.
Our Friday evening started innocently enough… Mara and I had been texting all day about our very first recipe post: Banana and Peanut Butter Ice Cream Sammiches. We found a super easy banana ice cream recipe that reads like this:
Ingredients:
Bananas
Directions:
Slice and freeze bananas. Whirrrr them around in the food processor until smooth. Eat.
And you know what? That shit...
7 tags
Good Things Come to Those Who Wait. (And also, we...
And although we have inevitably reached the bottom of the seemingly endless vanilla bean sugar jar, it was well worth it, for Mara and I have created the ultimate Banana and Peanut Butter Ice Cream Sandwiches. Soon, my friends. Soon and very soon.
“Dip your finger in our custard.”
– All the best,
Cat & Mara
Recipe Teaser Text!
Coming soon...
What in the world to do with all those Rotten Bananas!
5 tags
Food pics from the iPhoto vault.
Now, Mara and I have lots of great ideas for this blog. Eventually, it will be rife with amazingly shot and edited videos about our escapades in the kitchen. And sure enough, we will be recognized on a national level for our unique cinematic perspective on even the simplest kitchen tasks, such as peeling a potato.That will lead us to creating an award winning original score inspired by frying...
